My name is David, I’m 66 years old and I’ve been fighting cancer for 30 years. 

I’ve had testicular, lung, bladder and kidney cancer. 

As strange as it sounds, living with cancer has changed my life for the better in some ways - it’s changed me into a positive person.

Positivity is what’s helped me live with this illness for so long.  Focussing on the good doesn’t fix things, but it certainly helps you to cope.

Some days I’m up and some days I’m down, but I’ve found that there’s a few key things that help me stay level.

Get up and get on

Sometimes I’m awake from 5am unable to sleep.  I sit in bed thinking, then move to the sofa and do the same thing - getting myself up is a massive struggle.

I find that small things like having a shave or brushing my teeth help me enormously.  They might sound small, but some days they’re massive achievements and wow, do they make you feel better afterwards.  There’s been times that I’ve walked out of the bathroom afterwards and cheered out loud! 

Completing the small challenges can be the biggest morale boosts.

Food can be weird

When you’re undergoing treatment, food can be unappealing - even things that used to be your favourite.

Trying new foods and things I hadn’t eaten in years helped me.  I started off with a small bit of egg, bacon and toast and eating that every day got me back on track.  It’s funny - I can’t stomach bread anymore, but toast is fine!

You’ve got to search for things you can manage.  If you feel up to it, I’d recommend going looking round the supermarket yourself and seeing what jumps out.  It might surprise you!  For me it was chocolate trifle - even if it takes something naughty, go for it!  Staying hydrated is important too, whatever drink you can manage.

Food really does make a difference; it makes you strong.  You need that if you’re going to fight.

Talk to yourself and don’t beat yourself up

I talk to myself all the time and it really helps me process things.

Sometimes you say something and people say the wrong thing back.  Whilst that’s not intentional, sometimes saying things out loud, with no one there to respond, is very therapeutic. 

It’s okay to feel annoyed or angry if someone does say the wrong thing, don’t beat yourself up for feeling like that.

Sometimes, because you’re so warn down, you can misread things and that’s okay.

If you’re having a bad day and someone asks you how you’re doing, don’t downplay things.  If you’re struggling, tell them that.

Being unwell isn’t an excuse for everything – you’ve got to stay balanced, see things from other people’s perspectives but always remember to cut yourself some slack.

Get yourself informed

You can’t fight a battle you’re not clued up about.  Being informed about what you’re going through is a powerful tool.

One day I went to a wellbeing session, and a Macmillan nurse was speaking about something called cancer related fatigue. She explained how tired cancer can make you and how a good day can turn bad because of one tiny thing.  That session was the most engaged I’ve felt in ages.  Learning helps you to understand that what you’re feeling is normal and that you’re not the only one either – relating to things is comforting.  

I would advise everyone to take all the support that’s offered.  Even if you just try something once.

Keep an open mind

Widen your horizons and develop as many interests as you can, a lot of my journey with cancer has surprised me.

Keeping busy is important.  I’ve recently started running a bingo group each week and it’s become one of the things that keeps me going.

Another one is, on the way to and from treatment, I’ve always taken note of nice places I want to visit.  My partner and I go and try somewhere new to eat each month and take a photo of ourselves each time. 

It gives us both something to look forward to and enjoy – that’s very important.

Crank the tunes up!

Music has pulled me out of some bad places.

I love Pink Floyd, Manic Street Preachers, Oasis, Tears for Fears – the list is massive, but there are some songs that stand out to me: ‘I’m still standing’ by Elton John, ‘Tubthumping (I get knocked down)’ by Chumbawamba and ‘I won’t back down’ by Tom Petty. 

If I’m having a bad day, I put one of those on and it picks me right back up.  To me, they’re all messages about hope. 

The first time I had a spinal block, the surgeon asked me if I’d like some music on.  I asked them to play some Pink Floyd and so they put on their greatest hits – very appropriately, the first of song to come on was ‘Comfortably Numb’!  We all found this very funny.  Humour is another very important thing, even in the darkest of times you’ll find humour – and that’s great.

Nowadays music is so portable and accessible, you can listen to it anywhere at any time.   It doesn’t even take your full attention; you can just drift off in your head to wherever you want to go and enjoy.

Find what works for you

You’ve got to pay attention to what’s working, or not working, for you.

Living with lung cancer, I now know that one thing that helps me when I’ve got a bad chest is hard sweets/soothers. They help me clear my system and get the bad stuff up. Always ask your doctor for advice and take what’s prescribed but sometimes there’s little things, like that, that can help too. 

What might work for one person might not work for you, but don’t let that discourage you. 

Your support system is wider than you think

I wouldn’t say that I’ve got the biggest support system in the world, but what I do have I’m grateful for.  People keep me going.

Staying social impacts your confidence and improves your ability to fight.  It doesn’t have to be family or friends; it could be a cashier at a supermarket.  My local supermarket workers are a huge support for me, they all know about my illness and even a quick “hello, how’re you doing?” makes a big difference.

There’s a lot of bad things on social media, but it’s another outlet I’ve found support from.  I’ve connected with people going through the same thing and that’s been a huge help.

We’ve all got to look after each other.

 

"Fight the battles you can win and accept where you can’t you cope"

My journey with cancer started in 1996 with Stage 1 testicular cancer, for which I had a radical orchidectomy.  Unfortunately, the cancer then spread to my lungs, so I had bleomycin chemotherapy.  This was probably the hardest treatment I’ve had. It then progressed to stage 3 lung cancer, which I had concurrent chemotherapy and radiotherapy for.  I had about 5 years of quiet after all of that but then, sadly, the cancer spread to my right kidney.  In 2022 I had my kidney and urethra removed.  5 months later, a cystoscopy revealed that I have bladder cancer too.  I’ve had 10 operations, chemotherapy and BCG immunotherapy so far.  The BCG failed so I’m now having a cystoscopy in theatre and another round of chemotherapy.

If you told me in 1996 that this would be the next 30 years of my life, I would’ve told you, “No way, I’m not doing that!”.  But now, despite all of it, I’m still staying positive - no matter how hard it can be.

My head doesn’t want to give up; I’ve not finished yet.  There are things in my life that I want to sort out.

If you’re reading this and you’re in a similar position to me, my advice would be this: